Sensate focus is a combination of sexual exercises that are designed to allow a couple’s relationship to become closer. The counseling system is specially designed for couples who are undergoing a difficult time or who have lost a sense of intimacy. The system was designed by Michel Johnson, on the belief that the intimacy of a couple and strength of their relationship could be re-established and made more effective by following the steps in sensate focus. The sensate focus however, must be guided by a counselor and not just any counselor but a sex therapist. The program is designed to deal with doubts and fears that kill intimacy by slowly building towards positive reinforcement.
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Step 1: non-genital sensate focus
This is the first stage of the counseling program. The couple engages in light touching, with majority of the touch focusing on all visible body parts. This stage involves several stages in itself. At the first session, the couple is allowed to disrobe to their underwear only. Focus is on areas such as face and arms. After a while, the couple is allowed to get more intimate moving on to the back and neck and finally groin area. Jongsma (2004) cites that This establishes confidence in each of the individuals and allows them a chance to know more about each other in terms of reaction to the touch. It is almost like an attempt to acquire as much knowledge as possible on the partner’s body.
It is important for the couple to avoid the obvious erogenous zones that they may focus on during the intimate sessions in their relationship. Further, full intercourse and achievement of a climax s not permitted. This is strictly a learning exercise.
Step 2: Genital Sensate
At this stage the options of intimacy are increased to include genitals and other vital parts of known as erogenous zones. Once again intercourse is not allowed, however the couple are required to focus their attention towards what the genitals and other parts feel, and the feeling it creates. (VandeCreek et al 2007) suggest that it is important to spend some time on this stage. The intimacy and level of arousal should be increased with each time. The aim is to ensure that each partner learns the response of the other with regard to particular stimulation techniques. As intimacy increases, oral stimulation can be introduced for both partners. However, this should only be attempted once all partners are comfortable. A common error for the couple might be the focus on generating an orgasm. Should an orgasm occur during this stage, it is acceptable. However, this is not the aim of the exercise.
Step 3: Penetrative Sensate Focus
This stage should only be attempted once the counselors are convinced that intimacy is growing with the couple. At this stage, penetration is allowed with the person being penetrated being the individual with the greatest fear, (O’Donohue 2003) . This is because they will enjoy maximum control of the situation. At the initial stage of this exercise, thrusting is not allowed. The focus is more on gentle penetration. Partners are also allowed to switch positions so that each one enjoys some level of control. After a while, thrusting is allowed, of course starting gentle then moving on to faster thrusting.
Conclusion
The important thing to note about sensate focus is that the focus is never on the orgasm but rather on the intimacy of the couple. It is ideal for treating sexual impotence, and allowing couples to reestablish intimacy and bring back pleasure to their relationship.
References
Jongsma, A. E. (2004). Adult psychotherapy homework planner. Hoboken, N.J: Wiley.O’Donohue, W. T., Fisher, J. E., & Hayes, S. C. (2003). Cognitive behavior therapy: Applying empirically supported techniques in your practice. Hoboken, N.J: John Wiley & Sons.
VandeCreek, L., Peterson, F. L., & Bley, J. W. (2007). Focus on sexual health. Sarasota, FL: Professional Resource Press.
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